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Mar. 7th, 2009

  • 8:04 PM

decided to actually post on here :) heres my food for the day...

juice 18 cals
2 red bulls 20 cals
diet soda 20 cals
2 cereal bars 70 cals each
soup 90 cals
4 rice cakes 100 cals
jam 100 cals
different cereal bar 110 cals

total 600 cals not bad considering yesterday i had 5000 cals argh!

tommorow i will be strong n remember that eating isnt important n in all honesty its never worth the pain of bein fat.

25 lbs to lose :(
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

May. 12th, 2008

  • 12:58 AM

 Oh my god my birthday weekend was amazing i loved every second but now i have gained A LOT of weight so starting ABC tommorow. looking forward to being bck in control. im actually starvin atm but i always find that the more i eat the more the hunger hurts when i finally get hungry. im on 500 cals tmoz so its not really awful im feelin fat but motivated. cant wait to get my pics developed i hope i dnt look too fat on them tho :(
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

this post is kinda gross

  • May. 2nd, 2008 at 7:01 PM

 today ive started comin down with really strange cold. the weird thing is i think my binge/purge session caused it coz it started straight after i did that last night. im doin these sneezes that are so strong and i know this is so gross but its like water is coming out of my nose lol ive never had a cold like this before so dya reckon its the purging thats making it this way? plus ne good ideas to get rid of it with out consumin calories?
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

May. 2nd, 2008

  • 4:47 PM

 god im hungry! today ive had 2 mugs of vegatable stock 14 cals all together. i should be doin uni work but i just cnt do it! whenever i restrict its impossible to do work i got to get the work done tho! i dunno what to do ill try to do it again on sunday ill take sum pro plus or something. Anyways im allowin my self a stir fry later its only veg and 88 cals so im trying to hold on for that altho its really hard coz im so tired and week and just wanna eat. i fuckin hate my self for feelin like this im so close to quitting but i know im gunna upset my self if i do. im feelin really bad today plus i have a cold. im gunna go to bed at 9pm tonight i need energy for work tommorow plus im goin out drinkin so i need it for that too. wheres my motivation,,,, where the fuck is it!?!?!
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

Apr. 29th, 2008

  • 4:49 PM

i dunno if this is okay but its forevery one whos commented on the pic...i fuckin wish it was me lucky bitch!
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

Apr. 17th, 2008

  • 8:11 PM

850 cals  today i could have done better but at least i stopped when i did tmoz food;

Red bull 7.5 cals
red bull 7.5 cals 
stir fry 100 cals
coffee 50 cals
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

hjbsbuvusiuf thats how i feel lol

  • Apr. 16th, 2008 at 4:04 PM

okay just got in from uni n ive consumed 1200 cals today its a bit shocking but ive defo done worse so im not panicking to much, when ive been restricting i kinda like havin a normal day so when i get on the scales i know that its not just lost water. Any hoo tmoz im in uni all day got so much work to do and im stressin so it can either go one way or the other ill either binge or starve we'll see... Does any one know of any really low cal foods which arnt fruit and veg lol ones i can take to uni and snack on. Btw im on here pretty much all night tnight coz im doin uni work ...pullin an allnighter so if any one needs support or just a chat let me know 

Take care xx 

For got to say last night my bf took the piss out of me coz i ate a chip he was like " fuckin hell uve actually eaten a chip are u gunna go stick ur fingers down ur throat now.?" he was jokeing of course n i was like " no i already threw up my lunch and dinner so i think i can live with one chip hun." he has no fuckin idea its true lol i think he thinks im too fat to have an eating disorder its kinda annoying
  • Mood: drained
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

Tommorows mission

  • Apr. 13th, 2008 at 8:43 PM

Breakfast 1 Large coffee about 50 cals
Dinner 1 large coffee about 50 cals
Tea stir fry with soy sauce about 100 cals

Takeing things one day at a time...lets see what happens

Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

really angry n just wanna get to friggin goal.

  • Apr. 13th, 2008 at 6:58 PM

im in a really bad mood today it feels like everythin is impossible. i need to do uni work but just cant make my self do it n im running out of time im so gunna fale. Plus my bf is really pissin me off i kinda feel like i dont wanna be with him ne more i dont wanna be with ne one coz im so down n too focused on my weight. i feel really fat n just need to lose this weight so quickly i need ppl to notice. Tmoz im gunna try really hard im in work with my best mate but instead of standing around chattin shit all day im gunna keep my self busy cleaning n stuff n hopefully ill get through the day with out eatin too much. I feel so down i just wanna go to bed n not wake up till im 20 lbs lighter n all my uni work is finished...looks like ive got some hard work to do :( god my bf is just an idiot! when he pisses me off i usually eat but today is different i wanna get so skinny he's gunna be so fuckin sorry...its like i know he'll make me feel stupid if i tell him i have an ed especially coz im not under weight but at the same time i want him to know.

  • Mood: crappy
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

Apr. 12th, 2008

  • 10:48 PM

 Today has been slightly better than the past few days but still consumed way too much. i seem to be really hungry but ive just started a new contraceptive pill so im thinkin its that ill give it a month if i gain ill stop it. Totally up for a low cal day tmoz and monday. I have an official weigh in on tuesdays so i wanna at least be one lb down after all my bingeing im hopeing its possible. Think im gunna try to have 500 cals or less tmoz dunno tho see how things feel. Totally pissed off tnight tho my bf cnt even be arsed to c me so im in a really bad mood not gunna c him for a week just to piss him off lol got a week to get as thin as possible and look amazin when he sees me...ass hole lol. btw coz im new to this i dunno wot the hell im doin so please add me or whatever it is ppl do on here id love to chat n share adice n stuff :)
  • Mood: crushed
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

My new motivator

  • Apr. 9th, 2008 at 9:30 PM

Today and yesterday have been hard ive been bingeing like a bitch and now its going to stop! I dont want this life any more and i dont diserve it so fuck all of this tommrow is a very special day its the 1st day of my 4 week journey to thiness. Im gunna lose 20 lbs in 4 weeks... i know what ur thinkin...but just watch me. Im determined but i dunno how the hell im gunna do it yet. Any ideas? I need skinny vibes i need to think thin. I actually can do this i really can its just staying in the right mind set. I have control over my body. Mind over matter please message me if u wanna start this with me or if u have any advise or tips.
  • Mood: determined
Do you think people will start to see me if i make my self smaller?

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